You never knew you could have…


Getting out of my car, after the service guy takes down my vin number, I head over to the service manager with whom I made the appointment with on the day prior. After balancing manners, quips, and adult language I am lead to the dungeon. While walking at a slowish pace I am shown to three lounges, a bar with fresh fruit, water, sodas, and pastries, followed by a business area where mongoloidal burnt out, post-child rearing adults gawk at my black hoodie, white American Apparel polo, plaid shorts, and boat shoes.

After my escort departs, I wander to the men’s restroom where I find treasures Aladdin could never dream up. Cloth like paper towels, pearly urinals, gold flake embedded sink basins, whicker chairs that could be used for napping, and enclosed stalls with personal sinks and full-bodied mirrors in stalls so you can watch yourself defecate and dream about how the shit squished from your browneye.

After leaving the comforts of the bathroom I braved the hallway leading to the lounge far away from the 40 year-old mongos.heading towards the light I heard the siren call of Genesis, followed by the sight of angels.

This my friends… is luxury. Fuck leather seats that blow cold air on your ass, or a light strategically placed right above your cupholder, this is now my sanctuary. Within a month, they will know my name.

UPDATE: After paying my tab of $225 for a tuneup, I was given two golden boxes of truffles. I ate one giggling on the way home.

Tags: ( General, Culture )

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